Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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