it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
