he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
