I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
