when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
