Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
