Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
