do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
