turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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