he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
