Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
