just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
