I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
