So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
