I hate your face
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
