Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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