elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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