We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
