Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my shit smells like andre
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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