I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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