Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im drinking this country out of the recession.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
