i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
