So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
