Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
