Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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