I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
