you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
