This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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