Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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