Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
