He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
