I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you had me at cake vodka
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
