I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
