Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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