whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
