Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
