You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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