Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
