It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
