guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
