I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
