Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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