hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
