Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
