ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
