After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
