We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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