I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
