The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
