very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
